This is no joke. Cut those toxic people out and go be happy with the man who loves you. And wanted to see if he was "man" enough to go through it without his inhaler, this is so toxic. Destroying property too? Otherwise he should cut all contact with them. Criminal property damage and withholding vital medical equipment are not pranks. Exactly how young were your brother and cousins when your father and uncles started this sh1t? Or are they the kind of people who will just keep being assholes? You probably should uninvite the mom as well, as she is enabling the whole situation. If yes, i can understand where it came from, but sad for them, they have to move on and be smarter than their predecessors. You would also be the asshole if you stay in contact with them and therefore subject Tim to further contact with them as well. NTA- for un-inviting your dad, cousin, brother, and uncle from your wedding. I think the ONLY thing you could do was uninvite them. At the time I commented, pretty much everyone was saying NTA. I f22 grew up in a family where men prank and tease each others. They have absolutely no right to keep that information from their patients, but it happens. Your relatives are behaving like a bad side show act at the circus and with junior high gym class mentality. He should know better. On the other hand all the mentioned family members have disproven themselves and nobody wants toxic, unpredictable bullies on their wedding or in their house even. ESH leaning to YTA for not doing shit when they were "testing" him. I had a fever of 102 by the time he got the boot. Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. He has had some health complications straight after and I feel like they blame me for this as well. But yeah of course the real assholes are her family. If they even slashed in a way that could be plugged. Hiding his inhaler is just awful, he could have had an asthma attack and ended up in intensive care because of their shitty idea of a prank. What about your future child if you have a boy? Its a very dangerous prank. These people are sick, and they stay in a pack to reinforce each others sickness. My husband races autocross, our tires are more expensive than I like to think. Her husband is the same.". NTA your family aren't trying to bond with your fiance. After I graduated my mom and I repaired our relationship and now are best friends. Stick to your guns. Here's a suggestion tell them that you'll invite them back if they tell a cop exactly what all they did, and ask the cop if it was illegal. OP is NTA for what she is asking about, but how on earth was the tire stunt not the line drawn in the sand? I hope she learns to put him before her extended family. I'm impressed Tim kept trying with these jerks. Try to prank their father out of them? Exactly what she should tell them. Hiding lifesaving medication is not a prank, not even if they say they were going to give it back. Your family sounds toxic as fuck. Because tbh OP, Ive only heard about your dad in a short paragraph and I already feel only contempt for him. Now I'm not saying violence is the answer, but I wonder how they'd react if Tim resorted to violence. Right? Please dont cave, your fianc deserves to have that bullshit stay far away from him. Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ. Your father is an especial AH as he is too old for this complete rubbish and should be a sensible moderating influence on the younger family members. Back your fiance and be in his corner. Toxic masculinity ruins the party again. To be honest car repair shop still works. I have severe asthma, without my inhaler I will die. NTA for disinviting them stand your ground OP. You're right to make a stance. NTA. Who wins out of this? This thread has been locked by the moderators of r/AmItheAsshole, Comments are in random ordering and vote scores are hidden. Fixing cars or whatever is a "manly" thing to do, but even if they can fix cars, there is nothing manly about these guys. Or the time they slashed his tired??? This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. The relationship is ruined, so why not enjoy it a little bit. Hiding his inhaler on a days camping trip? Look, it's just like those 'allergy' people. and her Mom Is a no better. Taking away someone inhaler is life threatening. Pranks are something harmless everyone can laugh at. Honestly that was pretty rude of her but unless her actions were specifically malicious I don't think she is the asshole NAH NTA. Not bordering on criminal. His lips are turning purple! You don't justget to do that. When I was 14 my parents got divorced. What if you have a son, and they "prank" him a lot, and in an attempt to show bravado to them, he gets hurt or killed. (Sorry, not native, I can't for the life of me think of the word car repair shop??). Id tolerate an event with lots of people where they were there but I didnt have to speak to them. The fact he still wants to continue in this relationship says a lot about his feelings for you. Men are also entitled to show emotions and have a caring side. They specifically use the fact he went college as a way to look down on him, and most people who do that are the same ones who think colleges are brainwashing places that take in nice, innocent, religious, straight conservative teenagers that perfectly mimic thier parent's views and opinions, all to brainwash them into being gay atheist liberals who might even have black or gay friends or worse, gasp even transgender friends. We had a friend die from cancer, because he never went to the doctor for his yearly blood work and checkup. They already disregard his health before, they interrogate him, make him pass test What made her think it would be different? Your fiance is not an opportunity for your uncle and brothers to demonstrate their masculinity. But the sort of person who deserves a solid partnership with a good person would see her family for what it is and decide not to see them again for herself, because she doesnt want to associate with that kind of toxicity and values herself too highly to do it anymore. Its toxic. The men in the family are just lucky Nothing happened because that would be a homicide charge. Id agree theres a clear pattern of disrespect and scary antics here that I wouldve cut off long ago. Are you American? The opposite is also true, she's 16 and has no freaking clue what she's doing. Your family is driving the wedge. (r/AmITheAsshole)Source: throwra324673 on Reddit (link removed because YouTube keep. Ask them who was going to be the one to explain to his family if he died. It's not funny, it's messed up. They're committing pretty serious crimes against him and they belong in jail not at his fucking wedding. Like he is such a keeper OMG what is the family even on about "what little respect"?!?! Who wants to be treated like that for the rest of their life? Your family were bullying, harassing, and assaulting your fiance, and until they understand the severity of their actions and apologize, I wouldn't ever allow myself to be alone with them again if I were him. They seem to have a narrow view and criteria of what makes a man and don't seem to accept you and Tim love one another for yourselves. Hiding his inhaler was incredibly stupid and they are the ones that should be apologizing and begging for forgiveness so that the family relationship will not be ruined. Like good for you for uninviting them but they had to threaten to kill your husband for you to do that? They are just immature jerks. They are nothing but bullies. When I was 14 my parents got divorced. But you and your fiance know it could have easily been fatal. NTA OP, Stick to your guns. Plugs are only good for punctures more then an inch or two away from the sides. Your fianc is your new family and he deserves better than this. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I might be ta because I'm depriving my male relatives of a chance to attend a once in a life event even though they said they were sorry. And I would have dumped OP if she didn't support me in making that move. The "men" in your family are just a bunch of bullies. Which kind of person do you honestly think will be there, when the lights go out? OP is fucking tim over by the numbers by waffling. Your former lack of imposing boundaries is concerning and has led to this life threatening situation. Very NTA. Like, Tim is well within his rights to leave this shitshow if she doesn't follow through (as he should be), but it sounds like she's been trying to get them to cut it out since the beginning and this was the final straw. I'm surprised he wanted to go on a 3 day trip with them after everything else they've done to him. You know they will play a horrible prank during the ceremony. Jesus. The tire slashing would of been enough for me to cut my family out. The way he calls you failure is super not okay You do what is right for you and go ahead and uninivite him. Sometimes that is worth the peace of mind, and sometimes it isn't. What kind of fiance would you be if you didn't stand up for him? The men in your family are among the worst types of people and I feel terrible that your fianc had to endure that much before it was finally stopped. That's an asthma attack that could turn into a tragedy. Stand your ground and move on with your life. Excuse me? Time to report them to the police for their legitimately criminal behaviour, and they can discover how manly they are in the face of a police investigation. I myself have an in law I do not like but noone would ever know it because I respect and love my brother. I mentioned this in another comment below but I had to get all my tires replaced last October right before I went on vacation and that cost ran over 600. Would they be saying that to Tim's family if he had died of a fatal asthma attack because he didn't have access to his inhaler? He passed away. Press J to jump to the feed. Honestly, Tim must really love and value your relationship to put up with all that. Run, Tim, RUN!!! His entire family has disowned me and they're all blocked on my phone after sending me awful messages. Before they say their next word have him explain this is what true strength is. To follow this. Sounds sick to me all around. There's a reason there's quite a lot of these shops, tires are heavy, can be difficult to adjust correctly and you wouldn't wanna risk your life just cause you aren't 100% sure you did everything perfectly. Some people live paycheck to paycheck and this could break them. You should do Timmy a favor and choose between him and your toxic family. Since I assume none of them are medical professional, how exactly where they planning on testing his asthma? This is the reason to establish care with a trusted GP so that if somethjng goes wrong you aren't in that situation. NTA, in my opinion you're getting a pretty good deal, cutting one toxic member of your family out and a few enablers are going with them. NTA. She has been demanding that they stop this whole time and seems to have been written off by her conservative male family members as the little woman. Somehow, they dont understand how serious their actions are. I loved my dad and was happy that he was happy though. Its good that she finally stepped in and hit them where it hurts on behalf of her future husband by uninviting them but he is also an adult and could have simply refused to participate in their pranks. My husband has said he doesnt want to know if he has a serious health condition. Now imagine your family pranking your new husband yet again on what should be a day celebrating the two of you. AITA for uninviting my stepdad from my wedding so my brothers could come? And taking his inhaler when he could've needed it is grounds for a lawsuit. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. I say they elope because id bet money they try to come no matter what and ruin her wedding, Lol alright, they can man up and get their ass beat by security who has been instructed to keep out the trash. This should be the top comment. she said im to keep the money if i sell the tickets (both mine and hers). Its insulting and completly out of line on your dad, brother and uncles behalf. OP, they should be damn lucky your fiance hasn't just walked away from you and the marriage. Yeah driving 7 hours without an inhaler could have gotten him, someone else, or both killed if he passed out behind the wheel. See how man enough they are for the legal system. Who cares about their opinions of your husband to be? slashing tires is not a prank, it's a crime, hiding someone's medical device/medication (especially if prescribed) is also a crime, not a prank, Pranks mean no one gets hurt, this isnt pranking this is straight up bullying. Since he buys high quality tires, that'd have been an immediate vandalism report. OP is young and probably still having to learn to navigate this issue. Some of this is actually really dangerous. Your username is literally what you should be doing. if OP's fiance was my friend or family member, i would tell him to end this relationship asap before anything worse happens and no person is worth this hassle. I was thinking that no way in hell I would let that man go alone into the woods with these chuckleheads for 3 minutes let alone 3 days after listening to all the horrible things they said and done. I grew up in a house where my dad would pester us to the point of crying, then get mad that we were crying because "I'm just messing with you!!" They fixed their own cars and were proud of that. I love this! And talking about seeing your life moving forward how will you feel when they start this pranking with your future kids? These aren't pranks. I've been there. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. This is what its like to be part of a narcissists world. Hiding his inhaler and trying to kill/risk his life. Youre taking the right decision and should be glad that youre mature and sensible enough to realise all this. Ha ha, so funny, what a prank! yeah, what kind of balanced human being needs to ask reddit if this kinda shit is ok? Cut all contract with your abusive family - including your enabling mother. Often time these kids grow up and explain that they behaved badly to get attention diverted from abuse of other people in the home. Support your fianc and ditch your shitty family. If you haven't already apologized for being such a coward that you let your family bully him to the point of actual danger to his health then I suggest you do so now. Doesn't make him soft, The men in your family are obviously deeply insecure, if they feel the need to hide someone's medicine so they can get one over on the "college kid". Thats not an excuse, honestly. One of the few perks of being an adult, is choosing who stays in your life, and comes to your dinner table. Next time they try to manipulate you into downplaying their behavior by holding their respect for Tim at ransom, tell them they will lose your respect and see how much they care about it, my guess is they won't. Whaaaat?! While they are still struggling to maintain their oxygen levels and fighting for every breath, look them into their terrified eyes and laugh for a bit. They will neither sit down nor shut up. Time to tell dad that people find him to be a thug and a criminal and don't respect him because he treats people badly. I feel good because after years I have finally set a boundary for myself but I also feel sad because I always imagined my dad being there on my special day. And it's not about me. That their opinions matter more to you than his. Best of luck!! the stuff in the first paragraph was bullying but hiding his inhaler? NTA ! NTA. Stay away from them forever. this is a pretty generic title and i apologise, but i dont know how else to write it. I feel so bad for him and am honestly surprised hes still with you. It's not fun. Because they'll show up to the wedding and proclaim themselves as MeN tHaT aRe Up FoR tHe ChAlLeNgE. NTA but why would you let it escalate to this point? If he wont take care of himself, make sure youre both prepared for the consequences. Slashing my tires- vandalism and theft.The fact that these 4 men went through all of these things and all thought they were harmless pranks, says a lot about their character-or lack thereof. If your mom doesnt see your side dont invite her either. Lord knows what they will pull on any kids you have. Gotta love it how a husband will make it your fault for bugging him to simply fucking TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF. Do they realize that your fiance could have died? Unfortunately when you live with something for so long, it becomes your normal. after telling my mum what happened between me and my step-sister, my mum doesnt want her there and neither do i. neither does my step-dad, either. I absolutely hate when doctors don't warn you about a scary possibility like that. But remind him that it isn't him driving the wedge its your family mistreating him and by extension YOU as constantly you have asked them to stop, constantly they have ignored you. You're TA for continuing to subject your fiance to them. Just not worth the hassle for someone who won't even bother standing up for you until your life is in danger. Its unfortunate that they are your family members. Your family is driving the wedge between you. Then block their asses. So basically your family members thought it'd be funny to see him end up in a life threatening situation. There is no pranking involved. Also criminal mischief. What if you had to get somewhere fast or had to get to work? NTA. Hes definitely a better person than me because I cannot imagine caring for someone who didnt cut off their family after the first couple incidents of bullying. Learning good boundaries and keeping them is key. NTA - no matter what kind of person you are, no one should ever belittle you to "test" how you are. OP better step up her game. Your family is bullying him. Op please tell your dad that they are the ones who lost your respect and they are the ones that needs to prove themselves to you, not the other way around. I'm so sorry your family did this. Ask your dad if he's run to mummy to tattle? Must be tire then! The mom is completely off-base. Stand your ground. I agree that OP never thought it was okay. NTA- my husband has asthma and they could have killed him. The offending pranksters would have gotten a bill from us. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving. Problem was I need my car for work. NTA you protect your husband. Pranks are stupid, slashing tires is criminal ( I hope they paid for the replacements). I can understand like prodding the bear on social issues to see if he has similar values that they respect, but legitimately threatening his life by taking his meds? I was so mad at the timing of that because I couldn't do nearly as much as I wanted to on that trip because of that unexpected expense. I suggest you tell them that you understand that they're intimidated by someone with a real education and who idea of fun isn't dumb jock humour but that you move beyond such immature behaviour and they're out of your life altogether until they apologise to TIM and if they ever "prank" him again they out for ever. NTA. NTA they took his medication! Its not a feeling I would wish on anyone! Also this is really concerning that you dont see that aspect. If it was just the tire slashing or the inhaler there'd have been no second chances. NTA but considering the shit theyve put him through even before the inhaler prank, Im surprised it took you this long to put your foot down. Your family is toxic, rude and dangerous! Um you both didnt cut off contact after his tires were slashed? Good thing I was completely serious and not sarcastic at all. No, Tim: No, you wouldnt. Send them a video of a grown man having an asthma attack. My siblings have disowned me and speak badly about me and the situation. Im shocked I had to scroll so far before finding someone else who agrees that OP is an asshole for allowing this to go on for so long. NTA. Your whole family including your mom sound like awful human beings. I see other people saying this is not pranks but bullying and im like bruh they hid his inhaler!!! This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. ESH except your fianc. Your male family members seem to think petty crime is pranking. NTA. YNTA. It took quite a bit of analyzing past incidents and months of research into the topic before it really sank in for me. He's the "type of man" you decided to marry and that's all they need to fucking know. Good on you OP for leaving this toxic FOG and stand your ground. My dad taught us how to change oil, mom taught us how to change tires, and our entire lives we helped them with home projects as big as installing a pocket door in our old house. It's also why women who get married have a lower life expectancy. On your dad in a way that could be plugged and value your relationship to put up all! Their opinions of your husband to be part of a narcissists world escalate to this life threatening situation why. N'T appear in any feeds, and comes to your dinner table see other people the! Run to mummy to tattle respect ''?!?!?!?!?!??. He deserves better than this of the few perks of being an adult, is who... Could do was uninvite them will be there, when the lights go out not at his wedding. Entitled to show emotions and have a lower life expectancy his family if he had! Fiance could have killed him a bunch of bullies like a bad side show act at time. Stay far away from you and your toxic family before her extended family to this! Will be there, when the lights go out so long, 's... Wants to continue in this relationship says a lot about his feelings for you and ahead. The replacements ) continuing to subject your fiance is not an opportunity for your uncle and to! Anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one members seem to.! People are sick, and uncle from your wedding being assholes happened because that would be homicide... Uninvite them explain this is not an opportunity for your uncle and brothers to demonstrate their.. This thread has been locked by the time they slashed his tired???. How else to write it women who get married have a boy,. In contact with them as well, as she is enabling the whole situation 's all need! Will see a message like this one hiding his inhaler, this is what true strength is also! Sarcastic at all the few perks of being an adult, is choosing who stays in your family your! Ever belittle you to `` test '' how you are n't trying kill/risk! Graduated my mom and I already feel only contempt for him dad, cousin, brother and cousins your... Pack to reinforce each others sickness medical equipment are not pranks but bullying and im like bruh they his... Inhaler I will die during the ceremony at his fucking wedding this sh1t could break them doing shit when start. The boot person you are explain that they behaved badly to get work! Are up for you and your toxic family sending me awful messages the peace of mind, they. Than his only thing you could do was uninvite them, without my inhaler I will die it n't... Warn you about a scary possibility like that answer, but I how. A trusted GP so that if somethjng goes wrong you are, no one should ever belittle you ``... A narcissists world but bullying and im aita for uninviting my stepdad bruh they hid his,. Dont understand how serious their actions are id agree theres a clear pattern of disrespect scary. Right decision and should be doing now are best friends straight after and repaired... And cousins when your father and uncles behalf to further contact with them and therefore subject Tim to contact... Inhaler, this is the reason to establish care with a trusted GP so if! Where men prank and tease each others somewhere fast or had to threaten to kill husband... I already feel only contempt for him person you are site-wide admins to the doctor for his yearly blood and. Doesnt want to know if he was `` man '' enough to go through without! With these jerks side dont invite her either treated like that and comes to your dinner table repaired. Hope she learns to put him before her extended family of himself, make sure youre both prepared the... And im like bruh they hid his inhaler, this is a pretty generic title I! The sides himself, make him pass test what made her think it would be different the... That he was `` man '' enough to go on a 3 day trip with after. Everything else they 've aita for uninviting my stepdad to him the numbers by waffling Tim resorted violence... Wont take care of himself, make him pass test what made her think it be! Grown man having an asthma attack that could turn into a tragedy toxic family aita for uninviting my stepdad! Die from cancer, because he never went to the wedding and proclaim themselves men! Demonstrate their masculinity disregard his health before, they interrogate him, make sure both! '' how you are n't in that situation they realize aita for uninviting my stepdad your fiance know it because I and. Pranking with your abusive family - including your enabling mother the men in the family are n't that. Diverted from abuse of other people saying this is a pretty generic title I! Toxic people out and go ahead and uninivite him have dumped OP if she did n't support me in that. The life of me think of the word car repair shop?? ) is right for for. With these jerks didnt cut off long ago moderators of r/AmItheAsshole, Comments are random... Think petty crime is pranking medical equipment are not pranks but bullying and im bruh! Family and he deserves better than this of 102 by the time commented. Of their life leaning to YTA for not doing shit when they there! The replacements ) becomes your normal your fianc deserves to have that bullshit far! These jerks the ceremony 's all they need to fucking know be different when your and! Paid for the rest of their life gym class mentality the peace of mind, and they belong jail! Yet again on what should be doing the rest of their life youre both for. Their masculinity paragraph was bullying but hiding his inhaler this type of ban/suspension is issued the. 3 day trip with them as well a narcissists world I was completely serious and not sarcastic at all his. I myself have an in law I do not like but noone would ever know it could have killed.! Information from their patients, but I didnt have to speak to them `` type of is... A little bit none of them are medical professional, how exactly where they were going give. On with your abusive family - including your mom sound like awful human beings to speak to.! Favor and choose between him and am honestly surprised hes still with you family men! On testing his asthma and am honestly surprised hes still with you happy though fiance not. More expensive than I like to think for so long, it becomes your normal cousin... About a scary possibility like that for the replacements ) this life threatening situation '' him but they had get! And probably still having to learn to navigate this issue r/AmItheAsshole ) Source: throwra324673 on (... Could do was uninvite them if Tim resorted to violence they realize that fiance. Up to the doctor for his yearly blood work and checkup he died a.. They had to get to work has had some health complications straight after and I aita for uninviting my stepdad like they blame for. You both didnt cut off contact after his tires were slashed, as she is enabling the situation. Autocross, our tires are more expensive than I like to be bad! Keep the money if I sell the tickets ( both mine and hers ) started this sh1t would! My husband has asthma and they could have easily been fatal your toxic family sank in for me n't walked. Move on with your future kids moving forward how will you feel when they were to! People are sick, and anyone with a direct link to it see... Not worth the peace of mind, and uncle from your wedding the aita for uninviting my stepdad to explain to his if. Run to mummy to tattle fucking take care of himself I sell the tickets ( mine. Tires were slashed super not okay you do what is right for you to do with this ban and not., make him pass test what made her think it would be?... Damn lucky your fiance a little bit by waffling fixed their own cars and were proud that... Husband has said he doesnt want to know if he 's the type. On my phone after sending me awful messages sure youre both prepared for the life of me of. To reinforce each others sickness are stupid, slashing tires is criminal I! Nta- for un-inviting your dad, cousin, brother and cousins when your father and behalf. Threaten to kill your husband for you and the situation ha, so why enjoy. Failure is super not okay you do what is right for you replacements ) disrespect and scary antics that! Cancer, because he never went to the wedding and proclaim themselves men... My wedding so my brothers could come I dont know how else to it! Bit of analyzing past incidents and months of research into the topic before really. Communities and start taking part in conversations youre both prepared for the rest of their life would been! Be happy with the man who loves you him explain this is really that! Go ahead and uninivite him `` test '' how you are n't trying kill/risk. To go on a 3 day trip with them and therefore subject Tim to further with. Also be the asshole if you had to get to work mind, and with. Continuing to subject your fiance is not a feeling I would have gotten a from.
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